A 3-hour emotional rehab for physicians post-residency
You’ve put in the time—a lot of it. You’ve worked the long nights and the early mornings. You took endless amounts of calls, sometimes sleeping in the hospital.
You’ve finally arrived. You landed the job you worked so hard for all during school and residency. And yet, for some reason, something feels off. The gratifying exhale you expected somehow feels more like an exhausted sigh.
You’re finally able to spend more time with your partner and kids, except you’re still irritable and grumpy. Except this time you can’t use the exhausting pace of your residency as an excuse for your short fuse and temper.
The freedom you fought so hard to earn in your degree and training doesn’t feel so free. For some reason, you still feel uneasy. It’s hard to admit because life was supposed to be better once all the training ended. Things were supposed to be better in your marriage. You promised yourself you’d be a better father—more present and patient. You promised you’d be a better husband. The romance and passion would come back. You told yourself you’d start working out again and get back in shape, but you still can’t seem to find the time. Life still feels full. You still feel like you’re drowning in endless to-do lists, responsibilities, and obligations. It was supposed to be better and easier they all said. You can’t help but wonder why it feels like you’re still exhausted and drowning.
I get it. I’ve been there. I’ve been exactly where you are. I was told for 11 years—just wait until you’re done with your training. Everything will be better. And to some extent, things were better after my residency. For the first time in my adult life, I became the primary breadwinner in the family. I had less exhausting call responsibilities. I had more time to spend with my wife and kids. And yet, for some reason, I was still the same short-tempered, impatient a**hole—quick to snap at my son and daughters and make rude comments at my wife. Was this just the new me?
Had residency changed me that much?
Yes. It had.
I lost myself in a grueling surgical specialty residency. My belief that I would somehow seamlessly and instantly morph back into the strong, confident, independent, and happy man after 6 years in a surgical subspecialty program was a fairytale.
I had allowed myself to turn slowly into a shell of whom I was.
Residency had slowly eroded my vitality and what had made me an excellent resident—an ability to execute a plan, follow orders, and be a “good soldier”, had left me ill-equipped as I transitioned into life after graduation.
I had grown accustomed to acting like a robot during my training and was quite good at following orders. But now, there was no one giving me explicit orders any longer, and I lacked the ability to create a vision for my life. I was rudderless and had little follow-through on my personal and professional goals.
I could force a smile at work on my patients and colleagues but had nothing left for my wife and kids at home.
Morning after morning, I would hit the snooze button and find myself exasperated that I wasn’t following through on my commitment to start getting back in shape.
My wife was suffering from my emotional outbursts. My kids were suffering from my impatience. And just as I had reached what was supposed to be the pinnacle of my career with all the outward signs of success—a new car, beautiful home, wife, 2 kids with one on the way, I was miserable.
Finally, after years of pleading for me to get help, I began to feel Sarah really start to pull away. As she drove away with the kids for a weekend, I was left standing alone in my house. I felt that my world was actually starting to fall apart. Her parting words that weekend were for me to take some time and think about if I was ready to actually do the work to heal myself. The words echoed in my head. At first, I was pissed. After all I had done and worked so hard for years, couldn’t she cut me some slack? And then I was mad. Wtf is her problem? I’m not that bad. Other guys are so much worse. Finally, I was distraught. Who have I become that my wife can’t stand being around me and my kids brace themselves when I’m around every night?
I had what I considered to be a breakdown one night and knew things needed to change.
I needed to change.
I committed myself to changing and went through a massive transformation over the next few months. I hired a coach, went to therapy, and attended my first men’s retreat.
My life looks the same on the outside, but it feels completely different. I am completely different.
My marriage has never been better. The romance and passion are back in spades. Sarah and I have a better sex life now after being together for 18 years than we had in our 20s. I have an incredible relationship with each of my kids. I am the present and patient father (for the most part) that I always wanted to be. My career is thriving and I have never been more happy and fulfilled in my life and work.
For the past three years, I have shared my journey and processes that I used in my own life to feel empowered in my life, marriage, fatherhood, and career in my six-week online course, Men’s Work: Inner Work for Professional Men. In this course, I have helped hundreds of men make simple but substantive changes to their lives that have drastically altered the course of their careers and marriages.
For the first time, I am offering a one-night, 3-hour class where we will dive into these topics and start you on the process of reclaiming your life. This class is designed for the healthcare professional (really any professional) who is ready to make a change but the idea of showing up weekly for 6 weeks is just too daunting.
This is the perfect opportunity to acknowledge and recognize that voice inside that asks—is this it? Why am I not happier? Why do I constantly feel overwhelmed?
The class will be held on Tuesday, September 10th from 7-10 pm ET. You can click the link below to register. The cost is a one-time payment of $400.
We will send out the recording the following day, but I highly suggest coming live for the most impactful experience.
Once you register you will receive a confirmation email with a link to the class. You will also receive a reminder email on the day of the class with another link.
Please reach out with any questions.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Your story sounds like mine, but I’m not a physician. Is this class relevant to me?
ABSOLUTELY. Many of the men I work with are professional men aside from physicians and surgeons. They are lawyers, entrepreneurs, business owners, work in tech or finance. Some are carpenters, musicians, work in film or the military, and everything in between.
The content of this call is absolutely applicable to all men who try to balance a career, marriage, and fatherhood.
What if I can’t make the class live?
I get that life is busy and things come up. I will send out a recording of the class the next day.
How long will I have access to this class?
You will have lifetime access to the class. The content is often helpful to re-visit in several months, and I believe in strongly in the power of this work to be applicable in various stages of your life and career.
What is the time commitment?
The course will be completed in 3 hours. I hold a strong container to respect your time. I will start and end on time. You might want to revisit some of the practices and exercises we will do during the call, but I have worked the completion of these practices into the 3-hour call.
What is the refund policy?
I believe very strongly in this work and the ability of these practices to shift your perspective on your life and relationships. If you are not satisfied with the content of the call and feel that you did not get anything from our time together, I will be happy to offer you a complete refund after viewing your completed work from our time together on the call.